Anne Hathaway recently had the misfortune of being a woman in public, in case you hadn’t heard from every news outlet in America. As she exited a limo at an event for her new movie, someone with a camera found himself with a wonderful angle straight up her skirt. Surprise! That dirty, shameful woman hadn’t properly covered her body in the manner demanded by society! The cameraman then sold the pictures, and they’ve been tossed all over the internet.
Two things to note:
- Someone took an unauthorized picture of a woman who was in no way intending to expose herself.
- That person then sold the photo for money.
Hathaway then went on the Today Show, where Matt Lauer proved that his internet search history must be pretty sad. Immediately attempting to shame Hathaway, he begins by asking her “what’s the lesson learned,” putting the blame for this squarely on her shoulders. Hathaway, to her credit, has none of it (transcript via Shakesville):
[deep breath; looking down] Well, it was obviously an unfortunate incident. Um, I think— It kinda made me sad on two accounts. One was that I was very sad that we live in an age when someone takes a picture of another person in a vulnerable moment and, rather than delete it, and do the decent thing, sells it. And I’m sorry that we live in a culture that commodifies sexuality of unwilling participants, which brings us back to Les Mis, because that’s what my character is—she is someone who is forced to sell sex to benefit her child, because she has nothing and there’s no social safety net. And I— Yeah, so, um, so let’s get back to Les Mis. [laughs uncomfortably; looks down]
That’s takedown if I ever heard one. She skewers the entire culture, not just the creep who is sitting across from her. Of course, Lauer isn’t done with that particular tube of Jergens, and he laughs the whole thing off by noting that’s one of the best turns of a question he’s ever heard, instead of, you know, acknowledging that she had a damn good point and apologizing for feeding into it and (we’re left to assume) ogling pictures of her vagina and calling it “research” for the interview.
Because he totally started that bit with “Seen a lot of you lately.” I’m reminded of Multiple Miggs’ one-sided conversation with Clarice Starling in The Silence of the Lambs.
Lauer attempted to intimidate Hathaway by foisting blame for her own violation back onto her, and though she defended herself quite admirably, she was obviously uncomfortable. Good job, creep.
Next up, comedian and commentator Dean Obeidallah posted an article on CNN entitled “Do you believe in celebrity wardrobe ‘malfunction’?,” wherein he lays the blame for such things on the celebrities themselves. Obeidallah explains that they do this in order to remain relevant and in the news when their careers begin to flag or when they need “exposure.” What better way to do that than to slip some nip or flash ’em the old beav, huh Dean? Of course, he absolves Hathaway in this particular case, because “she has no history of these types of antics” and “she is well-respected in Hollywood.” Sorry, Emma Watson, you’re a has-been and we know you only do this to prolong your fifteen minutes of fame.
I called out Obeidallah on Twitter, and here’s the exchange:
Me: Yeah, what are these women doing even going out in public?! Have they no shame? She basically raped that poor photographer.
Dean Obeidallah: Dont think u get the article but thanks for reading it
Me: @Deanofcomedy I got it just fine. Someone took a picture of her crotch without her permission and sold it for money. Obviously her fault.
DO: Nah, u didnt get it- But again thanks for reading it
Me: (quoting from his article) “since Hathaway was exiting her car sans underwear, she would do so more carefully than a cowboy climbing off a horse.”
Me: “she was being dropped off on the red carpet where the paparazzi were lined up like piranhas awaiting a piece of meat. ”
Me: Or, the shorter version: “She was asking for it, dressed like that and walking down that dark alley.”He comes back with the “sorry you’re offended” line:
DO: Ur right – Ill ask CNN to take down the article bc some people simply wont get the point
Me: Oh, I get your overarching point. You just use the classic “blame the victim” mentality to get there. Very original.
DO: U get it after all!
I’m not even sure where to go from there, because 140 characters was just not quite sufficient, and I was getting really annoyed by someone using “U” instead of “you” when he had over 100 characters left to work with.
What this whole incident boils down to is the continuing narrative that celebrities are public property, women who are taken advantage of like this had it coming, and men simply can’t be held accountable – the onus is on them to behave themselves. Because for some reason, what undergarments Anne Hathaway does or does not wear is somehow of great importance, and she should feel ashamed that she didn’t rigidly conform to the societal standard.
But what exactly is that standard? What if she’d been wearing something under that dress?
“Hathaway flashes crotch, shows off sexy panties!”
“Hathaway flashes crotch, shows off unsexy panties!”
What if no one had managed to get that shot?
“Hathaway’s visible panty line!”
What if she’d just tried to avert the crisis altogether?
“Hathaway shocks by wearing pants to premier!”
It’s a no-win scenario. The media is going to be obsessed with the fact that a beautiful woman has a vagina. It’s incumbent upon scumbags to not photograph it without her express permission, and creeps like Lauer to not shame her because some scumbag photographed it. She’s not ours. Her body is not ours. Her body is her own. And if she wants to go commando, more power to her. I don’t care what she wears as long as she’s comfortable in her own skin, and no one has the right to shame her for that.